Candles

People love too often and they do it too little. It's like opting for using ten small candles to brighten up a room instead of using a lamp. The most reliable source of light, the one that will not leave you alone in the dark should be the preferred one and, of uttermost importance, the only that you will keep with you. Loving should be lived. In fact, one shall only live while capable of loving. Companionship should not be ephemerous and of little importance. Your companion should keep you off the dark for the rest of your life. Candles are not worth the time. If the flame is weak it will perish with a simple breeze. A lamp will only fall down with an earthquake. My words today are far from romantic, candles are much more romantic than lamps (or at least the majority of the weak minded think so). But I hate candles. Today I hate candles. Our flame is eternal: you keep me off the dark and if I perished today I know you would keep my world brighter for all eternity, a burning flame to keep me company through life and beyond. Tomás Roda

All that I know

I don't know if I smile more now or if I enjoy life more intensely than I used to. All that I know is I understand myself better. I'm now aware of my limits. Limits of effort and the limits of joy. Looking back I don't think I am a better person today than I used to be. But you make me want to be the best person possible. You are better than me in so many ways that I feel better myself. It is an enormous cliche to say I would do everything for you or that I wouldn't be able to live without you. I just know I do more for you than I would do for me. I just know I don't need to think about a life without you because that will not happen. Not ever. We are one. And a soul can't be broken in half. All that I know is I know nothing and in you I find everything I've always wanted to know. Tomas Roda

Late you

I like you. I like your grumpy face when I annoy you. I like your laughter when I make a funny remark. I love it how your eyes shut when you smile. I wouldn't live without you telling me how stupid I am sometimes. I adore your critiques and your way of never settling down. I even like it when you cry. You cry because you want a meaning for everything you do in life. I like it because I know you will find it. I like everything about you, even everything I hate. I'd rather share a silence with you than have it by myself. You're here with me when I have a nightmare. So now I even like my nightmares. I have you on my mind when you are around. I have you on my soul when I don't have you on my mind. There are so many things I want to say to you but the words never come up. I don't even think they exist. "I love you". Normal people would say this. I like it how your heart must have raced as soon as you read "I love you". I like so much in you, that love is not the word. Love is not enough. Love will never be enough. I late you.

And in that moment, I swear, we were infinite...

Sometimes I wish I could freeze a moment in time. Save it in the safest of places to be visited anytime I'd like. I'd visit your eyes, visit your skin, visit a kiss, visit our talks, visit sadness and happiness. Life is a rollercoaster of emotions. The best of emotions will only sustain when one is able to overcome all problems that may arise with time. So let me take a mental picture of you right now: it seems I have done everything wrong and could not have let you down more than I did. I also want to freeze this moment. For some reason you are still as perfect when you are bitter as when you are sweet. I cherish every waking moment I spend with you. Even every sleeping moment when you are around. I don't like to see you cry because I might drown in your tears... but in contradiction I don't mind drowning in your smile, as I do. I hate apologizing because I demand perfection. And being perfect leaves no room for apologies. It's the favourite word of the weak and I don't want to use it with you. Perfection requires perfection. I'd never miss you if I could freeze a moment in time. I miss your smile already even knowing I will see it soon, and drown myself in the happiness your presence brings. Always. And in that moment, I swear, we were infinite... Tomás Roda