My Angel

I never had faith in my life. I never really had faith in me. As a kid I was a walking flaw, a defect of nature. I grew up into a useless teen. A weak being, in a bubble of my own sorrows. A boat floating in a river, no pads, nowhere to go.

I grew up hopeless, I gave up before I knew how to win. I've remained doubtful and unforgiving of my own mistakes ever since. I forgot how it feels to be happy and out of worry. Left my own securities to opt for an insecure life. Never learned how to love, and never really understood how to hate. Looking back I have always been an emotionless shadow, walking down the street unnoticed, hiding away from the street lamps in the coldest of nights. 

I wish I could remember my last well-rested night. A night where I dreamt of a perfect life. I materialized love and I grew into someone. I was flawless in that dream. But it soon ended. 

I stumbled across an Angel not too long ago. A clear soul, stainless. A powerful and unique mind. A materialization of a dream. A once perfect dream. I lost track of who I was, of who I am. When you see an Angel you forget about who you have always been. Your Demons are dead now. Your emotions change.

Once you see an Angel you transcend. And when you transcend you don't have names for what you feel or who you are. You feel a new level of Love. An unconditional emotion that fulfills you and consumes you. My flaws are under control because an Angel is now next to me. I expect nothing else than that perfect dream I used to have. Not for me to dream it, but for the Angel, since an Angel deserves perfection more than a flawed human does.

I have realized that a heart full of jealousy and doubt serves me no good. A flawed heart has no space for an Angel. Only in having a pure heart or a desire to have one will I ever be able to transcend and share the purity of the purest of the hearts: the heart of the Angel I met, the heart of the Angel I dream of, the heart of my Angel(a).

Until eternity and beyond,

Tomás Roda